when you’re singing really loud while nobody’s around and you’re doin pretty well and then all of a sudden your voice cracks or you hit a note way off key and you just embarrass yourself that’s literally the worst because you’re not even around anyone else you’re just a disgrace to your own ears
I found this card at the pharmacy today and it was good.
I need a box of twelve dozen please.
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
i dont procrastinate because im lazy i procrastinate because theres so much shit i need to do and its fucking overwhelming and i distance myself from it and do things that bring at least some enjoyment and then i get even more overwhelmed when ive procrastinated for too long i cant win its a vicious cycle
The story behind this is we a played Halloween hide an seek in the dark. My brother took so long to be found that people were texting him asking him where he was. All he replied with was “spoop” and “14 inches flaccid”
When we found him he was blogging on tumblr. He got the prize of course.
Guys don’t encourage my brother it only makes him stronger
GUYS SERIOUSLY IF HE SEES THIS HE’LL COME TO MY HOUSE AND GIVE ME A JACKASS GRIN I SWE AA R
WHO TOLD HIM
WHO TOLD HIM
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL
i only get stronger the more everyone sees this
“You always said I looked grumpy. But those were the happiest days of my life.”
someone right now could be thinking dirty thoughts about you
I encourage those who are to share them with me.